“What do we live for? Where are we going?”

A Teenager’s Thoughts…

We live in a confused existence
Where love is mistaken for desire and truly do we know the difference?
Where money is mistaken for power and good leadership is seen as a weakness?
Where moving my hips just the way I like is seen as a way of pleasing them
Dear baby girl, know that you’re a gem
Just cos he doesn’t see it, simply means he doesn’t have the correct lens

I’m a whirlpool of power, passion, sexy and loquacious mayhem
Amen.
Half of them flee,
Simply because my success throws shade upon them, greater than a willow tree.
A powerful woman is rare, intimidating and a mystery.

We are in a nomadic period
Where home is in someone else’s arms
And being wanted by many is seen as validation
200 likes boosts the ego, but 50% for a test does not lead to contemplation
Explain to me, what is this nation?
A place where a Leader can perplex us with idiotic idiosyncrasies
A place where we are boxed, seeing only our individual realities
A place where being poor means having no money
Ain’t it funny?
How a homie can have 5 of whom he can call honey
But I guess bees also need some loving.

Let this sink in. And believe you me, I do this not to get under your
skin
But, are we that shallow that the abstract is a mystery to us?
That it is only when we do wrong, when we start to look above?
That just because he gives me his pin to his cellphone, I should now trust?
When there are another 3 Samsungs laying under his mattress
Where your worth is determined by your appearance
And truly,
Rihanna’s version of “Work’ will not get you Hemis
And your number is taken after a single glance?
Just to get in your pants
Sending us a drink is now considered romance.
You saw what I had and thought that’s all I had
That’s pretty sad.
Relax, allow my paradigm to manifest
Within not only your chest
But within your soul.

We will grow old, and Lord behold
I pray that your daughters are bold
I pray that they make better choices than what we were told
I hope they don’t buy the dreams that we were sold.
I pray they realize only the thermal definition of feeling cold
‘Cos all other stuff will eat your soul
Even diamonds are found in coal
Just to show that your beauty is underneath, not only what you show.

I pray that our example be forgotten
I know it seems diabolical, Hypocritical
But I am Ashamed of an era with goals mixed up, spoilt rotten
By unwarranted notions set up by the media
Make your mind a constantly updated encyclopedia

I’m just saying, I may be young but Dear World I ain’t dumb
And I know that losing can sometimes mean that you have won
I know that I am not only what I say, but also what I’ve done
Trying to explain myself in a series of puns
My mind is arsenal, get yourself a gun

What do we live for?
Where are we going?
All I see is a generation that is plateauing
Infinitesimal steps taken towards growing
Young Money won’t be there when your bank balance ain’t showing.
And to the rapists, I hope you know
That you are sewing
A garment none of your daughters should be wearing

But hey, I am just another teenager in an ever-changing world
Another female, objectified and constantly being told her worth
Another girl with tattooed tears of heart-break and a misunderstood rapport
Another “piece of meat”, being outspoken and ambitious now means I am forward.
And the reward?
My scars will now be my sword.

 – Thandeka Malange (Johannesburg)

If you enjoyed reading Thandeka’s thoughts you can also follow her on Instagram @thandekuhmalange

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