“The past does not dictate who we are but steers us into who we want to be.”
It’s still being written. What I can tell you is certain obstacles and challenges that I have endured that have led me to where I am today. To some, what I have been through may not seem big enough, to others I might inspire. I am not sharing what I am about to share for approval or praise, I just want to share with a part of me that I have not before.
Starting from birth the doctors told my mother that I was autistic and that I would struggle throughout life, that I would need “special” attention and care. My mother being a strong and independent woman did not buy into all of what was said to her and she raised me the best she could without any of the recommendations that were given to her and without anyone’s help. I can say through the Grace of God and a mother’s love I graduated all my years in school, even when teachers said I wouldn’t. I was fortunate enough to have a mother that fought for me and believed in me so much because without her love and support I wouldn’t have the strength to believe in myself. This is why I pursued a career in nursing because I get a chance to give back and be there for someone as my mother was there for me.
Growing up I wasn’t the prettiest or most popular but I have always put others first regardless of what I want. If it’s in my power to help someone or make them smile I do. I have never had a boyfriend, not because I’ve never wanted one just it’s never happened for me. I believe I am one of the very few girls out there that is still waiting until marriage to fully give myself to someone. This is not to say I have never dated or been tempted, after all I am human, just it’s never fully happened and if I don’t get married, I am okay with that. It took me awhile to accept it. What I want most in this world is to inspire someone to go after their dreams, to have health knowledge, to be happy within themselves. Not to let certain defeats that happened in the past determine your entire lives.
When I was 17, I had my first part time job, working for a family friend who we all thought was the nicest man ever. Well turns out that “nice” man almost raped me one day while it was raining and it was just him and I, he asked me to help him organize some equipment and take in mind I have always been a nice, shy, and naïve girl. So I went to the back and the first sign should have been a clue as to something isn’t right when he closed the door. I just kept stocking away, when I felt him behind me and started to brush his hand against my arm and pressing his body firmly against my back, for a moment I froze, but not sure what happened next because I don’t recall all the events that led me to be able to leave without him actually doing anything to me. I know I was very lucky that day and similar to that story I have had many naive moments. I know I have someone who is always watching and protecting me because I should have been raped more than once, kidnapped, probably killed and yet here I am. I do not open much to people because I feel like I might be judged but maybe that’s part of the process of inspiring someone is to share my story so I can fully be there for someone else.
In life there will always be trialing moments that test your faith, courage, mindset. Life is full of temptation but it’s up to you what you want to focus on and become, your past does not and should not define you but it should help steer you in the path you want to take. I would like to leave you with a saying my mom would tell me and continues to tell me. If you’re dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough. Do not let others opinions dictate who you become. Imagine my mom would have listened to all those doctors I may not have accomplished what I have today of being a registered nurse, real estate agent, and health coach. I know my story is still being written and God has much more planned for me but for now I can honestly and gratefully say I believe I have come along way from the little, shy, naïve girl I once was. Not to say I still don’t have my shy and naïve moments but I’m more aware of peoples’ intentions and a little less trusting. I do however, open up, well started to open up more and after writing this hopefully it gives me more acceptance of me.
I want to say thank you for taking the time to read a little insight of who I am because I know time is precious. Nothing bad in life lasts forever, with every bad comes good. So cheer up and hang in because your time is coming.